How Many Gamers Does it Take to Screw in a Light Bulb?

No one knows — the only lights a gamer uses are from the television or computer screens. That’s a terrible joke. It’s not mine. Honest. I just heard it from someone. Someone who understands the concept of gamers being socially awkward. Sure, we play games with people, albeit online most of the time, but we have deep, emotional connections with those people we’ve never met. Some of us are even lucky enough to have girlfriends. Gamer girlfriends even. Anyway, look, the point remains the same: gamers need to come out of their self-imposed exile in order to reveal themselves to the world at large. Rise up, Brothers and Sisters! Rise up and take control!

Oh, well, I guess maybe before I try to incite a riot I should introduce myself. My name is Gregory and this is my first, official editorial for DaxGamer. I’m not going to put myself out there and claim something so outlandish as to say something like, I’ll be one of your major reasons for coming to this site, but I will say your life will be better if you read my articles. To that goal, I’ll write on this site no less than once a week. Maybe more if all you uses of the intertubes shower me with praise and adulation. We’ll see. But let’s get back to the point of this article… minus the rioting, i guess.

To be clear, this is NOT what I want.

Gamers, generally speaking, have a habit of being socially … shall we say, ignorant (retarded). We have a nasty habit of thinking the person sitting next to us wants to hear all about how we speed ran some NES classic or how many times we got a “Killtacular” playing Halo last night. Here’s what we don’t understand: gaming is not a way to impress people who don’t play games. That’s really the long and short of it. If you hang out with people who don’t play video games, you’ll never be able to talk to them without limiting your topics. Or you’ll be forced to watch them trying to follow along, having no real concept of how difficult it is to go through Super Meat Boy without dying.

I suggest we do something about that. How many friends do you have? Do all of them play video games? Maybe, but probably not. I’m willing to bet you each know at least a few people who’ve never even held a controller. Well, now is the time to get them on our side. Pick a game easy enough to control — probably gonna be on the Wii or some point-and-click adventure on the PC (like Osmos) — and try to get these video game virgins into it. I’m not advocating the use of force; I just want us, as a community of gamers, to try to expand our hold on society. Maybe a little push every now and again to get more people who’ll understand why video games are so much better than real life. Or at least so I can openly tell the person sitting next to me on the bus how I beat Ocarina of Time for the eighth time and get a legitimate feeling of respect from them.